Mother and Daughter Insights
I must say that when my parents do things that are somewhat embarrassing, I like being able to say (jokingly) that we're not biologically related.
I think of my parents now as any other child thinks of their parents. They're just.. my parents. Blood relation means nothing to me as I think of my parents as my real parents. Another common question I am asked is, "Are you interested in finding your biological parents?" There are some who want to search for their biological parents, but I'm not one of them. I know my younger sister wants to look for hers, but I think it would make life a little more complicated. What would I expect? Even though there is that blood connection, the emotional connection I have with the parents I have now is stronger than any I would have with my biological parents. They gave me up - whether they were forced to or not, they still did. I don't have a "hole" where my biological parents are missing or anything.
For my parents, they couldn't have their own kids, so they decided to adopt. My mom says to me, "We didn't save you, you saved us." But even though it's their story, adoption is not just a second option for couples who are unable to have their own kids. I know a white family who has two of their own boys and are flying to Uganda to adopt a little girl. They are adopting because of their love for children and their desire to help kids in need. I'm not saying, however, that those who adopt are adopted kids' saviors. I suppose they are, but the reason for adopting should not be where when the child grows up, all they hear from their parents is that since they saved him/her, they should appreciate them more. No, when people adopt, they bring a child into their family to be a part of it.
-Kiley Hafterson
I think of my parents now as any other child thinks of their parents. They're just.. my parents. Blood relation means nothing to me as I think of my parents as my real parents. Another common question I am asked is, "Are you interested in finding your biological parents?" There are some who want to search for their biological parents, but I'm not one of them. I know my younger sister wants to look for hers, but I think it would make life a little more complicated. What would I expect? Even though there is that blood connection, the emotional connection I have with the parents I have now is stronger than any I would have with my biological parents. They gave me up - whether they were forced to or not, they still did. I don't have a "hole" where my biological parents are missing or anything.
For my parents, they couldn't have their own kids, so they decided to adopt. My mom says to me, "We didn't save you, you saved us." But even though it's their story, adoption is not just a second option for couples who are unable to have their own kids. I know a white family who has two of their own boys and are flying to Uganda to adopt a little girl. They are adopting because of their love for children and their desire to help kids in need. I'm not saying, however, that those who adopt are adopted kids' saviors. I suppose they are, but the reason for adopting should not be where when the child grows up, all they hear from their parents is that since they saved him/her, they should appreciate them more. No, when people adopt, they bring a child into their family to be a part of it.
-Kiley Hafterson
The older I get, and the more I hear of other mothers' pregnancies, birthing experiences, labor, etc., the more glad I am that we adopted. Physically, it's a lot less strenuous. Emotionally, it may take longer than a pregnancy, but if I had to do it all again, I'd chose adoption. An advantage of adoption is that it gives my children an alternative to creating family. Both of my girls want to adopt at least one child when they are married and start a family.
The disadvantages, at least in being adopted from China, is that they will probably never find their biological parents, even if they wanted to. Finding them is not the problem as much as abandoning a child is outlawed in China.
The advantages certainly outweigh the disadvantages. And as parents, Ken and I give thanks daily for the two bright and shining stars we have been given to raise, nurture and love.
-Janice Hafterson
The disadvantages, at least in being adopted from China, is that they will probably never find their biological parents, even if they wanted to. Finding them is not the problem as much as abandoning a child is outlawed in China.
The advantages certainly outweigh the disadvantages. And as parents, Ken and I give thanks daily for the two bright and shining stars we have been given to raise, nurture and love.
-Janice Hafterson